The Annoyance

I was doing some Christmas shopping recently at the Mall, and within a few minutes of arriving there, I was reminded of my one, singular annoyance of Mall shopping.

It's not the crowds.

It's not the prices.

It's those Scent/Nails vendors, who have booths set up in the middle of the walkways, and who try to coax you aside to sample their goods.

"Excuse me, do you have a minute?? Sir? Sir???..."

At least most of them are polite. But, still... it annoys me. If I wanted to be sprayed with cologne or body spray, or wanted to have my nails buffed, I'd go to the booth on my own. If I'm obviously not heading there -- and in fact, I'm purposely doing as wide a loop around the booth as I can, to avoid being pulled aside & interrupted from my shopping -- then don't follow me down the walkway with insistant invitations to try your stuff.

Yes, I'm fully aware that they are just trying to make a living.

Yes, I'm fully aware that it's their job to do this.

Yes, I'm fully aware that a certain percentage of them probably realize that they may annoy some shoppers, but they have to do it anyway, to get the paycheck.

But, still... please let me go about my business & my shopping. If I want to partake in your product, however fine and fragrant it may be, I'll go over there. Otherwise, just let me walk by in peace.

Of Swords and Bunnies....

I came across an all-too-familiar occurance yesterday...

I was looking for a simple product -- one that you'd think would be easily available in some form or another during the middle of the winter. I wasn't looking for anything exotic or novelty, or rare.. just a freakin fire log to help start fires in a fireplace.

Went to all of the places that might conceivably carry such a thing, and found NOTHING!

I was so upset that I did the only thing I could do at the time: I bought a handful of Hershey's Chocolate bars, and went home, and opened a jar of peanut butter & feasted away my frustrations.

No joke.. instead of buying Hershey's Chocolate bars, I was this close --> <-- to buying a chocolate easter bunny or two, just so I could bite off their heads! Living in small town America has it's benefits -- mostly, it's quiet, and not nearly as stressful or hectic as large cities. But when it comes to shopping options, or wanting to find common things (especially technology related), small towns are definitely a two-edged sword: you will either find nothing; or if you do find it, will pay an arm & a leg for it. Just thinking about it again as I type this is getting me upset, again...

CHOCOLATE BUNNIES -- BEWARE!!!!

'Tis The Season...

'Tis the season for shopping, rushing around, beating mailing deadlines, placing orders, attending parties, and crowds & crowds of people...

... but let's not forget the REAL reason for the season...

Merry Christmas to all...~ AwesomelyPlain

Blog 'Classic'...

For someone who is only a recent convert to label reading, I'm pretty gung-ho about it now (for the most part), especially when I'm trying to take off a few lbs. I read it all. I hold differing brands of cans, side by side, comparing the nutritional value. I probably look pretty informed standing there in the aisle, nodding my head, giving a well reasoned 'Hmmmm' as I take it all in. Having one hand on my chin is always good for theatrical value. Of course, I have NO bloody idea what any of it means, except for the number of Grams of Fat as a Daily %. But, I'm sure it looks good. (Disclaimer: Of course, no matter what the label says, when Ima hungry for a box of Hostess O's with the Cherry filling, the Food Pyramid comes in a distant second to the Craving Obelisk).

One disturbing trend I've noticed is this whole 'Classic' thing. It started when Coca-Cola messed around with their formula for Coke, and put out a 'new, improved' product. Needless to say, the Coke addicts popped their easy-opening tops, and demanded Coca-Cola return the original formula. (Hmmm... maybe these people actually shop by taste?? ... must be mutants). Wanting to save face, Coca-Cola didn't do away with the new product - but decided to keep it, and also to return the original Coke, now labelled as Coke 'Classic'.

Hmmm...

I think they unwittingly ushered-in the 4th Horseman of the Shopping Apocalypse when they did that (I'm not actually sure if it is the 4th one - Apocalyptic Horses still fall under my 'shop by color' category. Anyway, it's the Red horsey). Other companies have latched onto the whole 'Classic' genre, and truly it is a Sign O' The Times. Some other examples that come to mind...

Lays Potato Chips has a 'Classic' version. That is one nutritional label I avoid reading... I'm afraid that it will say that they are made with really old potatos.

Even Wonder Bread -- it's BREAD, people!! -- introduced a 'Classic' version for their line of products. Wonder Bread 'Classic', and Wonder Bread Sandwich 'Classic'.

O-M-G! Someone tell me when it's over.

Truly, the end is nigh. But, at least we can take comfort in the fact that it will probably be a Classic ending. Don't forget to duck n cover.

P.S. -- I've noticed that this blog is significantly shorter than my previous 3... maybe I shoulda called it "Blog 'Lite'"?... OMG, don't even get me started...

Jam Master J...

OK - so this is my exceedingly exciting life, condensed every so often into digital nonsense. I doubt if you will find the answers to any of Life's Questions in this blog -- but hey, who knows... sometimes I even surprise myself in the wisdom that I stumble across, quite by accident.

For instance, I've learned to actually read the labels of the groceries I buy. Yes, you are reading the musings of someone who used to shop by color. Oh, OK... I still do, from time to time. Like a freakin bumblebee in search of flowers to polinate, I'd literally buzz up n down the aisles of the grocery store, oblivious to most names and brands, only stopping to land on items that my insect brain was pre-programmed to recognize.

Back when I was a color-coded shopper, I'd buy jam or jelly. Almost always Grape. (Oooo, transparent plastic purple jars... gotta land on that one... looks like a pod of lilacs... buzzz... buzzzzzz). One day, a brilliant question popped into my head: Just what is the difference between jelly and jam???

I went to the fridge, and discovered I had one of the two purple concoctions, and made a mental note to buy the other type on the next go 'round of shopping. Of course, not really paying attention to the writing on the label, I diligently went out the next time I was buying groceries, and dutifully bought that lovely purple object, next to those other lovely purple objects. I got home, and finally reading the labels, discovered I was now the proud owner of two jars of the exact same lovely purple objects.

So, now I had to eat my way thru another jar of the oh so sweet purple stuff, before I ventured again from the hive in my quest for the opposite flavor of the royal nectar. And when I finally did, a few months later...

... yes, I had again purchased the same freakin flavor!! Eventually, I did buy the opposite flavor (probably by accident), and at last had an almost empty jar of Purple Substance 1, and a whole new jar of Purple Substance 2. Yea, me!! Wooo-hooo! Granted, it's not quite Lance Armstrong winning the Tour de France seven times in a row. High five, Lance!

Anyhoo, I remembered doing the experiment to find out the difference between jelly and jam, but I didn't remember the results. So, last week, I went out and bought a jar of Grape Jelly (on the first try! Label reading RULES!) to go with my partially consumed jar of Grape Jam. I again conducted the great taste-off. And the results...

Grape Jelly is sweet, purple, and smooth, but with little bits of crunchy thingys in it (seeds?). Grape Jam is sweet, purple, and smoother, but w/o the little bits of the mysterious crunchy thingys in it (bee stingers???).

Hmmm... maybe I was wrong... maybe you will learn the answers to Life's Questions in this blog...