Monday, April 24, 2006

Chimps, Good. Gorillas, Bad...

(Note: It is 2:58 a.m. I just now woke up from a very sound sleep,
with this ENTIRE blog already written in my head, outta nowhere. I'm writing it out while I still remember it).

Everything I needed to learn in
Life, can be learned by watching the original 'Planet Of The Apes' movie. In no particular order of importance:

1. On a long trip, hope that things go well, but be ready for problems to occur. Plan ahead! (Spaceship crashes onto Ape Planet, but the astronauts only have a few provisions to sustain them?).

2. Frontal Lobotomy's are never a good thing. (Well, duh).

3. Sometimes, it's better to keep your mouth shut. (Don't let the Apes know that you can talk. For consequences, refer to
Rule #2).

4. When you do speak, make it memorable. ("Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty Ape!").

5. It's always good to have smart friends. (Cornelius & Zira).

6. Never judge a person's intelligence or worth, by the clothes they wear. (Taylor spent most of the movie in torn, dirty rags).

7. Sometimes, it's good to vent! ("It's a madhouse!! A madhouse!!!").

8. In general, any woman named 'Nova' will be attractive. (Well, duh).

9. Women who ride horses are good to find. (See Rule #8).

10. A warm, relaxing shower is good! Being sprayed down by a high pressure water hose... not so good! (Taylor captive in the cage).

11. Use common sense. (If a place is called 'The Forbidden Zone', it's called that for a good reason).

12. The Government knows more than they are willing to tell you. (Dr. Zaius knew all along about Man's previous superiority, and t
he real reason for The Forbidden Zone).

13. Things aren't always as they appear, & not all changes are good ones. (An ocean-side ride on horseback along a secluded beach, with a fully loaded rifle, all the time in the world, no particular place to go, and a woman named Nova... good! Discovering that you're really in New York City... not so good!).

14. Chimps, good. Gorillas, bad. (Well, duh).


  1. Question: Did someone spike your banana juice, there Tarzan, or do you need a social life??? Who writes ANYTHING at 3:OO am??? Besides, some gorillas are cool....take for example, King gotta love a gorilla that can play smashmouth with a Japanese Lizard and win! Cheetah trusted his ape should you! 8)

  2. you know who4/24/2006 5:40 PM

    i agree with the last comment to your latest blog.......spiked banana juice? probably not your problem.....cause if that was the case, would your blog really have been a run down of "planet of the apes?" if you answer yes to this question..then its perfectly clear that your real problem is... lack of a social life lol which leads me to my next question....who in their right mind actually dreams of "planets of the apes" and admits it? lol its ok i still luv ya :)

  3. LOL! you'd better hope i don't dream about the sequels :-P